Facing the Unknown

If you know anything about me, I'm someone who hates not knowing. I hate not knowing what's going to happen. I'm the kind of person who stays very much in my comfort zone. I have my comfort food, my comfort places, my comfort clothes, my comfort behaviour, my comfort recreations... I have a groove and I stay in it. The only thing that I'm willing to explore is books and people. ;P

But over the past two years, God has been slowly prying me out of my comfort zone.

* We put our house up for sale. That means leaving the place that I've lived in for thirteen years. The little town that I grew up in. To go to a place that I don't know.
* I started driving school. I had to go to an unfamiliar place, be with unfamiliar people, do unfamiliar things... and drive, which I was terrified of doing.
* We have to find a new church building. We've been in the old one for thirteen years.
* I turned 18. I became an adult. My world was changed.
* I finished school. Again, my world changed. And my horizon was a question mark. What next?

All these things broke into my comfortable little bubble. I was frightened. I cried.

But life kept on. And I discovered a secret.

It's not as bad as you think it will be. 

Turns out... I enjoy driving (sometimes ;P). I loved driving school. I realized the pros of moving were worth as much as the cons. I found out there are privileges to being an adult. I discovered what I wanted to do after school.

But I wasn't convinced yet. I still clung to my mode of life and worried about change. I stressed daily over not knowing what was going to happen in such-and-such.

That's when the huge shove came.

My parents decided to take us to Camp.

We had never been in Camp--any Camp--in our lives. This one was run by a church that we love, full of young people from churches (it wasn't an evangelistic camp), and it was my last opportunity to go to a camp, since I am 18.

To me, there were several huge objections.

1. I wasn't allowed to take my cell phone. That means no way of communicating with any of my friends. That means... I was cut off from almost everybody I knew (except 3 siblings) for a week.
2. I wasn't allowed to take any books. Which means... my way of coping and de-stressing was gone.
3. I had absolutely no idea what we were gonna do. Not a clue. I had no idea what would happen during that week.
4. The Camp was in the States, and that means... crossing the border. My bugbear since I was... what... eight??

During the week that proceeded Camp, I got caught up in the excitement of packing and travelling and pushed away my fears and worries. Sunday night--the evening before going to Camp--I began to get nervous. Monday morning, I had to stare my fears in the face. Camp was here. I couldn't ignore it any longer.

I cried. I worried. I was frightened. And I had no idea what I was going to experience. I was completely surrounded by the Unknown.

The first day was rough. I cried twice, and felt very near tears a couple of times. I was lonely and miserable, and I was experiencing culture shock.

But by the next morning, things were looking a bit brighter. And they just got better. By Wednesday, I was already sad to think that I was leaving soon. Thursday was the best day of Camp. And Friday, I cried when I said goodbye to my cabinmates.

My biggest dream of Camp was that one girl would become my friend and ask to communicate with me. The reality ended up being my entire cabin (11 girls and 3 counsellors) bonded and now, eleven of us (the three others are unable to join) have a texting thread and talk.

Talk about "bigger than you ever dreamed."

I learned several things at Camp. But the biggest was this.

The Unknown is worth stepping into.

It's worth it to step out of your comfort zone. It's worth it to do stuff you wouldn't normally do. It's worth it to have a new experience. It's worth it to trust God and follow Him. It was worth everything to go to Camp. I would do it again. The little disagreeables are nothing when weighed in the scale. God knew best.

I didn't even have to worry. It went so much better than I had even hoped. Yes, it was strange sometimes. Yes, there were times that weren't too fun. But overall, it was an amazing experience.

And I'm so, so grateful for this unexpected experience.