Thoughts on Beauty // A Rambly But Heartfelt Post

You know that feeling when you catch sight of yourself in a mirror and go, “Ugh. I forgot I was so ugly”?

Yeah. 

You know that feeling when you're trying to smile for a selfie and your smile looks so dumb?

Exactly. 

You know that feeling when someone tells you you're beautiful and you're like “oh, thanks” and it just goes right over your head because you know it's not true? 

That.

But I was just thinking ... there are different kinds of beauty. 

Some girls are plump and others are thin. Some girls have crooked noses and some have pointed chins. But... that girl with the crooked nose has the sweetest heart ever. That extra-thin girl is one of the sunniest people you'll ever meet. Beauty is more than the outside. What is inside will shine out. If you have Jesus inside, He will shine out and that will make you truly beautiful. 

And besides... sometimes they aren't as bas as you think. A very dear friend has a squint she hates. I never noticed it until she mentioned it and I haven't really noticed it since. I love her, and I honestly don't see any flaw in her. Other people I know, I do notice the flaws—the physical imperfections. But it just adds to their charm and personality. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You may not think you're pretty, but other people do. And who's to say they're wrong? Besides, complaining about the looks He gave you is implying that He did a bad job.

We all want to be beautiful. But what kind of beautiful? Do we want to be a jaw-dropping, flawless-face beautiful? Or do we want to be a heart-warming, reflecting-Jesus beautiful? Instead of picking on our outward flaws, let's work on our inside flaws. Let's accept the body God gave us and let Him make our hearts what He wants them to be.  

I'm always being told I'm cute. People will laugh at me in a “oh-you're-so-cute” way. I often make people laugh by just stating something or by accidentally doing something silly. I'm told I have a cute smile (I hate my smile). I'm told that people like my voice and I find it either too girly or too deep. 

But you know... if I can bring sunshine into someone's day by saying something cute (unintentionally, I mean) that makes them laugh; if I can bring a smile to someone's stressed face by having a cute voice and smile; if I can spread a little joy by doing something silly or cute... maybe it's worth being something imperfect. Maybe the ideal that I have in mind is not what I'm meant to be. Maybe my way of being pretty is by being happy and loving people. Maybe God intends for me to give smiles to people, not aesthetic pleasure. 

If so... why am I fighting against that and trying to reach my ideal? An ideal I'll never be? I'll never be tall. I'll never be slim (I'm built large). I'll never have a perfect smile or voice. I'll never be brilliant or witty.... but I was born being a sometimes brainless, mostly making-the-best-of-things person. Maybe that's the beauty God gave me. Not the physical beauty that the world asks for, but the beauty of encouragement.

I'm not anything special. I'm not witty. I'm not sarcastically clever. I'm not musically talented. I'm not outstandingly pretty. I'm not amazingly sweet. I'm not perfectly loving. I'm flawed. I'm lazy. I'm fearful. But God can still make beautiful things out of broken ones. And you don't have to be perfect to be beautiful. 

It all comes down to the kind of beautiful you want to be.

God helping me, I want to be the reflecting-Jesus, filled-with-His-Spirit beautiful. 

These thoughts are rather rambly, but I'm posting them in hopes that they can help someone.  💖